In the search for Work-Life-Balance, why are we not making Work more like Life?

The subject of work-life-balance (WLB) is one that has been discussed and opinioned upon so many times that it has now taken on the notion of a cliché. Something like the perennial search for an ‘honest politician’ in politics.

In its simplest form WLB is simply a “meaningful daily achievement and enjoyment in each of your four life quadrants: Work, Family, Friends and Self.” Clearly it is about figuring out a balance between your work and the other domains which are personal and private to you.

Achieving balance between Work and Life is challenging but there is a bias that ‘life is impacted negatively by work’ therefore we have to balance things to get our Life on track! I still remember the sign on many stores run by my family in my home-town that proudly declare that ‘Work is Worship’.

The common stance when it comes to WLB is that it is about “the separation between your work life and your personal life. It is the boundary that you create between your profession, career, or business and every other segment that makes up your life.” As I reflected on this I realised that many people believe that there is a trade-off between the two elements i.e. Work vs. Life. I don’t think so.

I realised that amongst the many things that one could do to figure out WLB was to focus on how to make their 'Work' environment as close as possible to ‘Life’ environment. Please do not stone me for trying to sugar coat work (and the ‘pain’ that goes with it) but for some of us who are devout workaholics have realised that we need divine intervention to ensure that we do not negatively impact the lives and feelings of those who love us (but do not follow us to the office). This is not a blog to cheer them up (the families we leave at home) but a blog to ‘cheer’ us (the people who come to work) up so that when we go home we are more livelier and less stressed out i.e. do not take it out on those who wait for us to go back home but then have to struggle with our moods and our ‘energy sapping sob stories’ from work.

The attempt to find WLB balance is a personal goal for me but as a manager of people I need to also consider what leadership attributes will help or guide my people in their personal quest to find WLB. I sincerely believe that managers and leaders can moderate the process by which an employee seeks to achieve or strive for WLB.

For those who are looking for guidance on improving their chances of leaving Work in a positive frame of mind, I offer the following.

First, stop associating with colleagues that sap your time and/or energy. Work on this element as it is critical. Stay away from that colleague who will search you out (at a water cooler or over coffee/lunch) and have that unnecessary conversation based on gossip and innuendo. If a colleague needs to vent then advise them to visit a therapist or a psychologist. You are doing yourself no favour in this scenario as the 'ventor' (the gossiper) will invariably free themselves of whatever is bothering them but in the process leave you confused and your mind reeling/spinning with negative thoughts and outcomes. Ask yourself did this individual find the time or energy to approach their manager or put their thoughts in writing with solutions (the solution element is critical)! This requires courage and most gossipers/'ventors' do not have courage!

Second, learn to say no. I cannot tell you how many of us in the mistaken belief that we must stretch to support an organisation or team find ourselves constantly taking on more than what our body/mind (the proverbial ‘plate’) can handle. In an attempt to deliver we then find ourselves making more and more sacrifices in terms of time and peace of mind. I am not stating that you say no to everything but do learn to say no when stretching for others and/or accommodating others who did not do their job in the first instance!. This is not easy but can be done. Choose your battles or you will lose the WLB war!

Third, assess time that you spend on productive and unproductive tasks. Let me be blunt here. I am referring to the time you spend on the web, at social media sites, attending extended lunches etc during working hours. I have seen employees hammering away post closure time and with ‘martyrdom welling in their eyes' tell me that they are stretching for the organisation when I know fully well that they lost hours in extended lunches, unnecessary conversations over coffee or distractions. At that point instead of blindly thanking them for their extra effort I tend to ask them some leading questions on time management and prioritisation so that they achieve self-realisation.

I must close off on this point differently though. I once had a manager advise me that he wanted to give a subordinate of his a high performance rating as that individual worked till 9.30pm everyday! I nodded sagely but then advised that this would ensure that all employees would start hanging around till late in an effort to get a good performance rating and frankly, if an employee is working till late consistently then the manager could have done better to balance the work-load for the subordinate or the team (and even if the manager is working till late with the subordinate it still does not detract from my point!).

Fourthly, associate with positive people and look for opportunities to engage in activities that build social standing and a positive work-place. This is a difficult concept as many of us leave it to the manager to work on creating employee engagement whereas it is a function of employee led initiatives (to some degree) also. Are you the employee looking at active ways to offer your ability or support to activities or ‘moments of truth’ that improve the work environment for you and your colleagues? I am always surprised by the paucity of individuals that will stand up and offer to support an activity to improve employee engagement or improve the atmosphere in the office. Are you part of some social club? Have you formed an alliance with like minded people around a hobby (for e.g. some cycle together over the week-ends)? Are you known as someone who spreads good cheer and gives out positive vibes?

My input guidance to the manager or leader who is working on creating the right environment to encourage WLB (or move toward it) is as follows:

• Be a role model yourself. Practice what I just preached above
• Call out and hold people accountable when you see them engaging in energy sapping activity. Remind them of the opportunity cost of gossip, innuendo and the inability to say no. Actively dissuade. Your silence is taken as consent by most employees and an endorsement of the wrong behaviours
• Identify and isolate gossip mongers and energy sapping people. Be visible in how you neutralise such people in your team and how you handle such people who may be outside of your team but impact your team negatively. Don’t assume that this will happen automatically. It can only happen if you the leader stand up from your chair and walk up to someone and hold them accountable for the impact of their behaviour on your employee(s). Your employee is your investment, so protect that investment. Your visibility on such matters is a form of insurance!
• Question the need for employees to work late. If you see teams or groups working till late consistently then that is a cry for help. Don’t run away from the fire (in this case the employees working till late)…but run to it. Actively seek out such situations and aim to fix the same!
• Focus on rewarding the right behaviour and question your basis for recognition. Do you reward for hard work or smart work. Do you reward for internal reasons i.e. 'super human effort in stepping in for process failure'? If you have process failure then change the process rather than reward people for acting as substitutes to the process! That is to put it mildly – plain stupid! Identify and make an example of those who work to improving the work environment for others. How about a 'great colleague at work' award, but which is not based on the recipients ability to not say no and do other people’s work for them? And by the way, did you (the manager) ever try to reason or dissuade employees who take advantage of a colleague’s inability to say no!
• Focus on skills development. A mind is a terrible thing to waste! Get people to focus their energies on developing skills that will help them beyond their day to day jobs. Investing in people is a great way to create focus and let people work on something that will improve their outlook and chances of moving up in the organisation. And when you have evidence of someone being successful on this count then highlight them as role models to the others. For once, I will encourage selfish thinking on the part of employees to grow and develop as they own the responsibility of growing their career but the manager must facilitate and guide the skills development process
• Employees are your biggest asset even if you cannot see them on your balance sheet! Aim to create a culture of trust, empowerment and make the place fun to work at. Herb Kelleher (Chairman of Southwest Airlines) says it perfectly “What keeps me awake at night are the intangibles. You can get airplanes, you can get ticket counter space, you can get tugs, you can get baggage conveyors. But the spirit of Southwest is the most difficult thing to emulate. So my biggest concern is that somehow, through inattention, through misunderstanding, we lose the esprit de corps, the culture, the spirit. if we ever lose that, we will have lost our most valuable competitive asset.” 

Let me summarise my stance on WLB. I think it is utopia to think that we can achieve WLB at the expense of Work or Life. It is not a war and it should not be. The term balance means achieving a win win outcome on both fronts. Making Work more closer in form and structure to what Life looks like reduces the stress of the WLB transition faced by us all.

Actively work on refreshing your perspective on Work. Work is not a punishment. It is a privilege. Hard to earn and quick to lose if you do not show respect to it! In the battle between Work and Life it is workaholics that suffer the most. Those (like me) that have a chemical disembalance and need the most guidance and support in the search for WLB. [And by the way this specific blog is dedicated to people like me who have a chemical disembalance and are devout workaholics!].

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